Yeah, I must be out of my mind. Fuck! Am I going to start this again? This is what I wrote to him:

Hi, yeah, me, the freak, the weird woman who can't seem to leave you alone. So, I've been thinking. Actually, it's all your fault because of those emails a couple of weeks ago. Would you have sex with me? (damn, she's blunt!) Yeah, because we really aren't friends anyway so that whole not having sex with my friends theory is out the window. And I'm not talking dating and I'm not talking meals or movies or sleepovers. I'm talking sex. Sometimes. When the need arises. For either of us. Because, quite frankly, I'm going out of my mind. And I kind of exaggerated about the plastic because that's just a tease more than anything at this point. I used to be satisfied with my right hand and you ruined that... so this is, like, your duty. And I don't want to date anyone right now but I want sex. A lot. I mean, I guess I could live without it... it's not water... but it's close. And why not, right? We're two consenting adults. And we might have not been able to do the other stuff right but this... this we had down to a science. And every time I think of you in my mouth I get this weird ache and start to drool. Damn you and your big dick! Best regards, the horny slut."

I KNEW I was going to crack. I KNEW IT. Well, maybe he'll just say no and I won't have to think about this. Yeah, that would be okay. I must review the list AGAIN! Crap.