So, he thought the email was really funny. And then he came over and fucked me. And how do I feel about that? Sunday - great. Monday - pretty good. Tuesday? Yeah, I'm okay. you know, on the positive side, this is really good because now I don't have to fight ever sexual urge that I get. And this way I get to have the best of both worlds. I get to live my life as I have been, busy, busy, going out with friends, working, working out and I get to have sex periodically. On the negative side, well, I'm not exactly sitting by the phone but I have a fear that I will. I guess I'm just afraid of old habits and old feelings coming back to bite me in the ass. But maybe the worst old habit is actually worrying about it. I need to let things happen and not analyze everything to death. Um, what else is new?

But I don't want to get back with him in that old rut that we were always in. I don't want a future with him. I don't want to love him. So, maybe I won't. I need to keep my boundaries and not slip into the sleepover, meals, relationship thing. He has a way of invading my life and I just need to not let that happen.

Anyway! You should see how FUCKING SEXY I am! 198.5 on the scale today. I could scream. When I catch a glimpse in the mirror, now I stop and go 'oh, yeah' instead of 'oh, no!' And this is so much better! I'm loving the gym. I have energy times ten! (Most of the time!!) And I am just LOVING ME!

So, I'll continue to hate men for a while... it looks good on me!