I keep talking about how frustrated I am that I haven't lost any weight since November. Christmas got me used to chocolate again. So whenever it's around I eat it. I don't feel like having anything to eat and end up convincing myself to have a burger & fries. What's different? A couple of days ago I thought 'of course, I'm trying too hard' like the old days when every day was the last day I could have these chips or ice cream so I eat as much as I can... and do the same thing the next day. But, you know, I don't think that's it. I think the problem is that I'm not trying enough. I'm not trying to avoid these foods. I'm not trying to will myself to not have them. I keep on with this 'I will not deprive myself' thing. And that's fine. Choose to not deprive yourself and choose to stay fat. And it is a choice.

Why do I keep sabotaging myself? Why do I buy that one more pack of cigarettes? I don't want to stop smoking. Really? You want to smoke because of how good it makes you feel when you run for 5 minutes? You like how it makes your care and your breath smell? You like how it stains your teeth? How it makes you stand in the rain to get a fix? I know I can live without it. I know the cravings get less and less and go away almost completely eventually. So do it. Get a litte control over yourself and just do it.

Or do you WANT to be a fat smoker?

Do you?