Okay, this wasn't supposed to be a book about Fabian. But I can see that it's becoming one. I guess old habits are really hard to break. They creep up on you when you aren't paying attention.

Anyway, ha, let's bring you up to date. Remember what a rough time I was having on Friday? Wanting to email him and ask him out to lunch? Well, just about as soon as I went to be, he emailed me. Fucker! Getting my hopes up. Yesterday when I woke up I asked him out to lunch after all, to celebrate his new job. 6 or 7 hours later I heard from him saying 'lunch would have been great' blah, blah. And I answered in my fun loving, happy-go-lucky way. Then nothing but a night of staring at the phone and checking my computer. Sound familiar? Been through this before, have you Bevie? Of course I got myself a little wasted and had a pretty fun night with 'Undercover Brother' and I wasn't going to answer the phone if it rang. But I WANTED it to ring! I've never been too good with the whole patience thing. Now I'm ready to give up again.

He has this way of stringing people along. I've seen it when he talked about his other ex's calling him. I've seen it when I was with him. "I'll call you later". That means I won't call you.

So get on with your day, Bevie. And if he calls - that's great and if he doesn't - that has to be okay, too. It's not that any man will BE your life. They are only supposed to accent it. And when you are ready, it will happen. When it's right, it will feel right. It doesn't feel right now. So have a little patience. Wait. Love will come again. I guarantee it!