Well, I'm sitting here by the phone, waiting for him to call. Well, literally, I am by the phone but - and I do want him to call - I'm not desperate for it. Just trying to have faith that he will call and hope that it's not too late.

It's funny, though. I'm not afraid to give, I'm not afraid to bear my soul to him, I'm not afraid to let him inside. Is it because I don't think he'll want to? Or is it because, just by recognizing that all I have held back, I will now be able to give it?

What I don't know is what to do or say to make him forgive me. How do I get him to trust in me again? Is that even possible? The funny thing is also that, even if he is with someone else, I think he will eventually recognize that we belong together.

Just call, Fabian. Just call.