And that was the moment that Fabe walked in. I was about to say that I'm trying to give myself permission to love him again. And we had a good evening. We hadn't spoken since Saturday morning. Another of those CAVE ventures, I guess. I'm expecting another REAL SOON! Because last night I told him that I love him. Haven't said that since we broke up in June. I've been doing this 'casual' thing but it was becoming more confusing and frustrating than helpful. And so I have given myself permission to give everything, go in without thought of the end and see what happens. Because, if it ends, I'll know that I did what I could and that's all I can do. And, if it doesn't end, well, all the better. But I'm expecting another silent spurt because when he left this morning he said "I'll see you later". And we all know that means don't sit by the phone. So we'll see, we'll see.