Dr. Gray said something funny the other day. He said "I think we should keep you chubby for a while". He said it in the context that I should meet people while I am over weight to let them get to know me and let me get to know them as I am now so I can get rid of the feeling that no one will love me while I am fat. And I laughed and like his idea because I started the Body for Life program that Sunday and had already been cheating my ass off by our Wednesday session. That night I think I ordered a pizza for supper.

But I don't think that I should do that. Let's face it, it's going to take me a LONG time to be anywhere near thin. Also I don't need a license to eat like that. But, most importantly, I read that a good way to reduce depression is through proper diet and exercise and most of the things that I want to do (swimming, the Vancouver Sun Run, etc) will require me to be in much better shape than I am right now. But I don't want to be crazy dieting. I honestly believe that once I start living the life that I want to lead, the weight will come off naturally. I do need to help it though, get started. Otherwise I'll always be sitting here wanting to be out there doing but without the energy to actually get up.