I close my eyes and imagine cheek bones and collar bones, hip bones and only one neck, jeans without a pocket of chub sticking out over them, not having to concern myself about sucking in the belly. I see myself crossing the finish line at the Vancouver Sun Run and tears inevitably spring to the surface. I see myself walking into a room and everyone sees me, sees beauty and confidence and charm.

Will I be beautiful? What will I look like? How will I handle it? As impatient as I get when I step on the scale, I know that slow - very slow - is the only way for me to do this. To get used to the bones, the looks, the attention. For my body to get used to the exercise. I want so much from my body right now. I don't know if it will ever catch up.

But, I guess that whole 'instant gratification' business is behind me. The exercise part any way. Now, if I could just avoid that Dairy Queen!