Laughter wore off a little while ago... I still think it's fricken funny but it's hard not knowing what comes next. I was so much more comfortable back in the day when I controlled what happened. Not that it always turned out the way I wanted it to but it was definitely me who made most of the major moves. Now I wait.
I'm not sure if it would be better for me to contact Dave and give him heck and then laugh about it. It would be much better for him, sure, but would it be better for me? And, at the same time, I wonder is it dumb to wait for him to contact me? I wonder the same thing about Rob because I really want him to want me but it's pretty obvious that he doesn't. He should be emailing or calling me, right? I sent him a nice email, he knows I like him, I shouldn't push it past that, should I? But, if I don't do something, will I just be saying goodbye to someone who doesn't necessarily want to say goodbye to me? And how long do I wait? If this method/theory doesn't work out, when will I know that? Sadly I need to just let it be and see what happens.
This is how it's done now... open the door and step back. If I'm right I will know it and if I'm wrong I will figure it out eventually. This is how I need it to be right now... I will figure it out eventually. I have time.
Also, I applied for another job today! It's as a shopping centre manager!!! How effin' cool would that be, dude? I loved it when I worked at it oh so many years ago. What a challenge that would be! It makes my heart pump a little harder... and that, my friends, is what we're looking for!
