He showed. Mostly because of the chips? lol No, I know he cares about me; I care about him, too. And, as always, it was nice to have an in person visit to remind me of the things that I didn't care for too much. The story is always the same... he puts a bunch of his music and movie files on my computer (which is actually kinda sweet when you think about it but it used to irritate me like the dickens!), he tells me that I'm looking good (which sounds like a line but I like it anyway), we go to the restaurant for lunch and he proceeds to tell me what I should do with the rest of my life. Yes, he is trying to help but he doesn't like for me to have any input (and I just love love love people telling me what to do!). He is trying to save the world... I didn't really see that before. I always took the things that he said as criticism or controlling but I think he really wants to help... he just has a bit of trouble with presentation.
It was good to spend time with him again. He is not what I am looking for. He played an extremely important role in my life and in my getting my shit together but we are past that now. We are friends. And that's all we will ever be. And, of that, I am glad.
Well, I started creating my resume yesterday. I wonder what the future holds for me. This is kind of exciting... in the scariest possible way, of course. But what is really weird is this: apparently, if I were to fit in with 95% of the world, I should be looking for the best pay for the least amount of work, a dream job should be having absolutely nothing to do all day long. Don't get me wrong, I want the pay, but I want the work more. I want to exert myself. I love coming home pooped after a hard day at work. And no one seems to get that. Is it an attitude thing? Are they just saying that they want a boring albeit well-paying job because that's what everyone is supposed to want? Do I take other people's small talk to literally? And is that why small talk bores me so much? (or is it actually because I have had no life to speak of for the past 5 months so I don't have anything to say)
I am lonely, that much is true. I have never in my life wanted so much to have people around me. I guess I don't have the same need for alone time because I can be myself when other people are around now. Hmmm. Hmmmm. I'm bored... onto the next lame attempt to keep myself occupied. I want a job.
