I have to go over it and over it and over it because I am learning. I have to look for behaviors and change some of them and appreciate some of the others. Be patient, be patient... this is a process.
Did I tell you about that yet? Yesterday I was trying to articulate what I am looking for and what I am not looking for. Here's what I came up with:
WHAT AM I LOOKING FOR?
- he will be bigger than me and stronger than me
- tradesman, no soft hands
- humor that compliments mine
- he will call me on my shit
- he will be direct but not mean
- adventurous but in small ways
- entrepreneur-ish
- wants children and/or has children
- accepts the differences in other people
- flirts, picks and pokes; affectionate
- I will feel comfortable with him - and not run
- he will stand next to me and support me and tell me off later
- he will like dogs
- he will do for me and allow me to do for him
- don't care about color or amount of hair/car/money
- I will trust him
- I will trust that he wants to be with me and not just someone
- values alone time and encourages mine
- he will open doors for others
- he will love his family and have lots of friends
- he will let me question him and know that I like to know why instead of thinking that I am judging/doubting him
- I will feel safe with him, that he will protect me and not hurt me intentionally
ABSOLUTE DEAL BREAKERS
- married
- does not want children
- mean to others
- no physical attraction
- I do not feel comfortable and safe
Another thing? I think it's too soon. I think it's too soon to be even thinking about getting involved with someone. I need more practice. When I am ready, he will show himself. But first I need more practice. I will not lose this; I will not let me down.
