So, I have kind of been back on the personals. I know... drama, drama, drama! He's either too good or he's not good enough. No, that's not really it. I don't want to date anyone... I'm just bored! It's been raining for days and, after my rough week last week and nothing but grey clouds and rain ever since, I'm starting to feel like a shut in. I need to go out! I need to move! I need to get shit done! I need to stop mutherfukin eating and getting stoned!
But what the fuck is this Friday stuff? Our first date was Friday, then I was on the island for the weekend, I went to his place on Monday (he took Tuesday off), he came to my place on Wednesday but didn't stay over, he came to my place on Friday and I didn't see him again until the Friday just passed. Yes, he calls most nights but still. Can't we go out some week nights? Can't I pop over to bring him some pie and a blow job? Can't we just cuddle and watch tv for a while and then I would go home? I have to talk to him about this but it's too soon... I want to see what he does first. I guess, in some ways, I hope that the personals make him pay attention. I don't particularly want to go out with anyone else right now but who knows what could happen... there's lots of nice guys on there. If he wants to be exclusive I would like to see him more than one night a week. Of course, at the same time, I can still count all of our dates on one hand so I don't think it's time to start the constant shrill nagging that I like to subject all of my suitors to.
Oh, and I have to tell you this funny story that Ian told me today - and totally trampled on my feelings! He said he had some stuff for me and he could drop it off, I said can I come to his place tomorrow and get it so I can have a quick visit with Daisy, he said come late afternoon because otherwise Linda with be there and you said you didn't want to see her, I said that's old news (although I still don't want to see her) and he made some crack and I asked if Linda was afraid of me or something. He tells me about how he and Linda were joking around one night and he told her to stop or I would come over and beat her up and eat her children. Ouch man. Fuckin' ouch. I won't say anything to him because what does it matter at this point but ouch.
I seriously have to get out of here. I am eating so much it is driving me crazy. Old behaviors, right? I can't do that again. I need to get outside and run or walk or go to the gym or something. I have to move or I will return to that girl that Ian so enjoyed mocking. Ouch.
