Okay, the calm, logical side of me is back. I lost it. I really did. I slept all day and when I wasn't sleeping, I was crying. It was horrible, horrible. I can't believe how many days I went through that before. I never talked about it - not when I was going through it. A few years ago I became okay with telling my family and Stacey and maybe Julie (did I tell Julie? I have no idea. I must have. It was 2004.) Anyway, that's the first time anyone got to witness it first hand. Except Ian, I guess. This is where I run. Right now. I have no idea what is going on with Lyle but I am going to try my very very hardest to not run. I will go through this, I have to.
Like Debra said, he's probably a drunk or total ass... I'll find some other reason to break up with him. (I love my sister!) But, seriously, this shit needs to slow way down, but quick. I dread talking to him again. I dread seeing him on Friday. I honestly don't know if I can get over this. I guess I could if he handles it properly. But what's that? Best possible scenario? He says I really like you, too, but I need to go slow. And I will tell him that I never want him to call me when he is drunk again. Three blackouts in two weeks? Suspicious. Very.
