Things worked out with Lyle. Where did I leave off? Oh, he was supposed to call Thursday after that whole email debacle... but he didn't. He did, however, call on Friday. It was 2pm and he had left work to go back to the doctor (I kinda had thought that he was a big baby boo hooing about his sore muscles last week but apparently he had fractured a rib!!! Life is way more interesting if you just let it happen!), he called and was totally normal and said is it okay if I come there at about 3pm? I said sure and he came with his bag of newspaper clippings and menus and pj's and his toothbrush. It was awesome! He came ready for a sleepover... there was no question and no weird discomfort about how the evening would end... I frickin' love this guy!!!
So, he comes over and I was a wee bit uncomfortable, I guess, but not for long. He sits down next to me, pulls me into his arms and says "Now. Lets talk about how much you like me!" I said nope. I said "you don't remember what you said to me so I decided that I don't remember what I said to you." (Oh, and "I don't want to talk to you when you are drunk again.") Bugger. Jesus, I swear to god this man has been watching me for 10 fucking years and knows exactly what to do or say... like every time! He was pissy on Saturday morning because he didn't sleep very well (I do some sort of weird moan/snore apparently!) and I was glad. I was glad when I saw him a little cranky. We were laughing about it two minutes later but it made this seem more real somehow. Because it can't be all good. It just can't. I don't believe in it. But if the things that aren't all good are as silly as the fact that I snore, bring it fucking on, buster.
Anyway, past and present: we had another wonderful Friday afternoon and I enjoyed being with him all day. We went to Costco and to Home Depot and the liquor store and Walmart and got every single thing on my list. I never get every single thing on my list. And it was fun! We went to the liquor store and neither of us knew what kind of wine to get so he calls over someone who works there and starts asking what wine would be good with the chicken alfredo we had just bought. We were joking around and being silly when we were walking back to the car ("do you think I like doing that to you? It hurts me more than it hurts you. Wham!" that shit was funny, dude!) And somehow, although I am 99% sure it was his fault, the bag slipped out of my hand and smashed to the ground. Clutz. Fuck. He was so cool. I was laughing and he picked it up and we laughed our way back to the store. I bought another bottle but he goes over to the clerk and holds the bag up and says "We dropped this. Can we get another one?" And the guys says "sure". (Who would ever think of doing that? I love him for fuck sake!!!)
Later we came back here and had supper and I spilled my water all over the place. Clutz. Fuck!! He was cool... he grabbed the ottoman tray and brought it over to the sink and cleaned it out. Then he got the remotes and dried them off. He offered to take my recycling. And then he actually took it! That never happens. Ever. And he told me he loved me, in jest of course. We were joking around about something, found something else in common, and he goes "I love you". Of course my response is "how could you not?" (I love this version of me. I love her. I want to marry her. Forever.) But I laughed it off. We had sex as soon as he came over, pretty much. He's even okay with going with the flo. I like that... he's not afraid of a little blood - as grotesque as that may seem to some men out there - and that says he'll be there. He is kind and considerate and funny (he wore his Toronto Maple Leafs pajama pants and a t-shirt that says something like "this is to distract you while I look at your boobs" or something and my purple croc knockoffs that Ian bought me and he went down to the sandwich shop for a coffee. I laughed my ass off all morning with him and then I oddly started to wonder how many of these traits would drive me up the wall someday. I liked even Karl in the beginning. Go away Negativia!! (that's what I'll call the bitch in my head!)
So, as always, to make a short story long, I called him yesterday evening after I got back from lunch and movie and shopping with the girls and he was not home and so I left him a nice girl message and later in the evening I sent an email to break the "email cherry" (oh, how whitty!) and said that Stacey and I were to be out looking for cock today (we found a card at Potters that said "Jen and Jan usually spent their Sundays looking for cock" and it's the nice old 50's picture of two women out sailing around with binoculars... looking for cock, I suppose... he thought it was the funniest thing and made me buy it). And he has not called nor emailed. And he didn't check his Plenty of Fish inbox since Friday morning... that's a bit of a test - during the last conversation that he "doesn't remember" he said that we should both take off our profile and only see each other but I ain't doing nothing at this point.
Fuck. Anyways, I am wasted and I am tired even though I got up at 10am and then napped from 1-3pm. Perhaps all this pot is not the best every single day for hours and hours. It's no fun again. And I had better not be putting weight back on because there is a man in my life again. Old habits, Beverly. Old habits. Don't push too hard. I like being nice to him. I don't care what happens, it's way better to just be nice to people. This is what I always wanted. This is my peace. What the fuck, dude.
*** Oh, I forgot to mention: when we were in the middle of the conversation that ensued after "let's talk about how much you like me" he said that I was putting a wall up. How funny is that?
