Why can't things just go smoothly? Why can't I just know that he is with me, that he wants to be with me... I am so afraid that he is still wanting to see other people but I don't know whether or not I should ask him. I want to talk about the relationship but don't know if it's too soon. I know, I know... I had it so good and I walked away from it. But but
Can't get past that part. I need to be patient. I need to trust that his feelings for me are strong enough. Am I sure yet? Am I so intense about this because he is not paying a ton of attention to me?
Fuck. Do I have what it takes to get through this???
But I can't stop thinking that maybe he is keeping me at arms length because I told him that's what I wanted... before I realized the real problem. What if he is not calling because he thinks I don't want him to call. Christ, I am so afraid to let him in... not let him in, I guess because he's not knocking... I am afraid to put my heart out there and cause more trouble than would come otherwise.
FRUSTRATED MUCH?????
