After all of that wonderful stuff about my strength and being okay that Ian didn't want to see me the other night, I got myself so worked up yesterday afternoon it's not funny. Through the jigs and the reels, I made my way over to his house. Eventually, when I got up the nerve, I asked him if anything had changed for him. He, of course, had no idea what I was talking about because I had worked the whole thing up in my mind but I told him that I had been getting a weird vibe and this is the point that I usually lose it and run but I want to learn how to handle it differently so I asked him about it instead. What a concept! So much better. Seriously, normally that would be enough for me to want to call it quits.
Oh, and everything has been so wonderful since. So cuddly and warm and sweet and fun. Here's where I run the risk of expecting too much.
Eventually I will get a handle on this... I'm trying and I think that says a lot. Hell, I even told him that I was on the fence about kids. Me's growin up!
