Okay... we had a good weekend. I went home last night to do some laundry. Before I was leaving I said I love you. Later he sent an email to say goodnight. I replied with "Do you know how much I love you? It's crazy... but I like it" or something like that. Fuck. Too much, too much! Why why why? Why do I do these things? This morning I'm trying to figure out how to take it back. Not take it back because I don't mean it but take it back because he hasn't responded. I know it's too much, too soon. I'm ready to bawl my face off right now. This is me. Please let me control myself... this is where I start freaking out and causing problems. And it's period week and that just makes it all so much fucking better!!!
I know, I should act cool... no big deal... let it slide. But this is the crisis point. Although, I guess this whole learning thing is to figure out how to deal with it differently. What I really want to do is be an asshole, cold and distant... run, run, run! Maybe instead I will try to just be normal. Hahahaha! Normal. Ya, that's gonna happen.
