I wrote this email to Rob after my last post. But before I copy it here, I want to comment on the old journal and old habits. I am on October 2005 in my transposition and every day I am boo hooing about the Fabe and I kept sending him emails!! I honestly don't feel that this is the same situation but I also want to make sure that it doesn't get too similar. I will see if Rob reacts to this email and, if he doesn't, I won't contact him again... poor fella!!!
"Hi Rob:
I expect that you are quite possibly in the early stages of regretting that you ever heard of me but, before that happens, I am going to push my luck just one more time! I will thank you in advance for reading this, thinking about it and coming to terms with what I am going to tell you... hopefully in a good way but... well, I guess we will have to just wait and see.
To put it bluntly, I like you... but I feel that you may be misreading my intentions so I want to clarify a few things. I think we have already established that there are no romantic feelings between us and, in case you haven't already deduced this on your own, I want you to know that I am totally cool with that. There are plenty of fish in the sea and on the web so that is really not a factor in my communications with you anymore and, honestly, hasn't been an issue for quite some time. However, I have always had male friends (and I really like having male friends... because girls can be so irritating sometimes!! tee hee!) and one common factor in all of these relationships has been a long, drawn out period of overcoming the hurdle of the boy/girl stuff. So, I guess I am trying to jump that hurdle at warp speed by telling you that when I comment on things that we could do together, like playing Rock Band or watching a hockey game, I am not inferring or hinting that these are date things. You are a man and I am a woman but we are also just people and, as people, I simply like knowing you and hanging out with you - and Nathan, too. (you're funny and you're fun and you PLAY... do you realize how rare that is??). I am not trying to win you over with cookies or video games, I am just being myself in the only way I can.
So there. That's all. I just hate awkwardness. I hate thinking that I shouldn't say certain things because you think that I am hitting on you. It's totally cool if you didn't reply to my last emails because you are busy or indifferent or even because you just plain didn't want to. Totally cool. Trust me. I like you but (no offence!!) I can live without you. (shit, that's terrible but I didn't know how else to put it!!!). Just... if you don't want to hang out with me, that's totally your decision and totally, totally okay... but if you do want to be my friend but have hesitated because you think that I am looking for more, I simply want to assure you that I'm not. You are fun, I am fun, we have fun together... it's that simple.
Okay, that's all I wanted to say. I'm glad I got that off my chest. I never claimed to be shy but I am not always this abrupt either... I just don't know how else I am going to touch a frog again!!!!!! And I want to go zip-lining soon and, if you play your cards right, I just might invite you to come, too!
Cheers, friend"
