There's this strange, unexplainable phenomenon that happens every one or two months... I like to call it "ex-boyfriend day". For some reason, all of my ex-boyfriends seem to contact me on the same day. It is the weirdest thing... if one calls, they all call. Well, it's only been two in the past but I guess now Lyle is thrown into the mix.
So, perhaps I don't need to say this but Lyle came by today. He asked if I wanted to go to lunch and I said let's see... he told me this long story about how he was depressed (although he didn't use that word... he said he went into kind of a box) and didn't talk to anyone really for the last couple of months. His ex-wife moved to the island with their son, he lost his job, his cousin died - rough time, in general. And I can relate to that. I used to be a pro-hider-under-the-covers kind of person for many, many years. And the things that he told me were not a surprise. However, I told him that, while he did not and would never lose my friendship, he didn't seem to notice that I wasn't calling him, either. I told him about my discomfort over those conversations that he oddly forgot. I told him that it bothered me and made me not want to have conversations with him. I said that, right now, I want to just be friends and see what happens. And then we went to lunch.
I had fun with him. I like him. I like being around him. I don't know if I want it to go any further. He was quite respectful and silly, I laughed and had a good time. Long term? I don't know. Like I said, I want to see where it goes. I took a wee vow of celibacy in June and decided that I would not have sex again while I was 36. Well, my birthday is two months away. Will I stick to it? About that I am torn. Okay, about that I am horny. I haven't had sex since June. Not that the sex with Lyle was phenomenal. It was fine, I came and everything but, let's face it, I'm kind of easy to get off. I am setting myself on 'let's see' mode and I will just let the world unfold as it will.
As Lyle was coming upstairs, Ian called. I called him back later. We chatted. He's Ian. There is no attraction there anymore, really. I mean, when Brandon was here and he and I and Stacey went to visit Ian, I was so much more interested in Daisy than him but once or twice I missed snuggling into him. He has stinky pot now and I am kind of jonesin' cause I haven't had any for a few days. I called him back and told him that I wanted some but we didn't not connect. I am a wee bit drunked now because I drank a bottle of wine and a beer but alcohol is a downer and pot is an upper. Honestly, and obviously, I don't need either but I am sofa king bored I can't stand it!!!!!!!!!! I need something to occupy me or I will turn into an inebriated mess tout suite! (that's supposed to be french for right now but I don't remember how to spell it!!)
And then it was Fabian's turn. He called me no less than 6 times while I was away. I left him a message on Tuesday but his days off are Tuesday and Wednesday and he only calls when he is working. Sigh. I love him. He's Fabian. He's the one. He's taken. He doesn't want what I want. He's not the one for me. But he is the one. That's all I want to say right now.
