Mental

Okay... I'm back in the land of the living. Slight mental breakdown for the past couple of days. I could see it coming, though, couldn't I? Maybe I'm getting better at this. Unfortunately, not so much better that I can stop the little fuckers. Ian doesn't agree - because it would ruin his favorite pastime - but I think the pot is a bad thing with these meds. I haven't done it since Sunday but it was coming long before that. I feel better today than I have in so so long. I have to say, though... having Ian there made so much difference. I was bawling my face off and trying to work myself up to calling Joe to let him know that I wouldn't be in and I couldn't... I just couldn't... I couldn't speak... I was wrecked... so I went in and woke Ian and he was so sweet, so considerate, so gentle, so caring, so understanding. I have never been able to let anyone see me in that state. I am sofa-king lucky... it knocks me off my feet.