Motherfucker! All of a sudden I feel like ripping someone's head off... for absolutely no reason at all. It's like I just snapped! Maybe I am manic... maybe I should re-evaluate the whole depression thing. But most likely not... I get cranky but I'm more of a hiding in the closet kind of person than freaking out and screaming my head off. And yet... I didn't believe the whole depression thing at first either. Maybe it's time to look deeper.
The hardest part about all of this is figuring out what's me and what's the depression. Maybe it's time for me to accept that I am both at the same time. But if I get pissed off quickly like this for no reason... am I just having a bad day? And when is it a bad day and not the other? I am skittish and unfocused and I don't want to work and I don't want to eat and I don't want to talk to anyone. Am I really just a bitch? Deep deep down? I feel that I am more and more. I hear myself talking to Ian sometimes and I feel like slapping myself! This is so frustrating.
What else is new baby?
