I just read my last entry, post, whatever you want to call it. Not the horoscopes that seemed so accurate at the time but the last time I wrote. About believing. And waiting to see if I was right. I was right.
I haven't written in a while because my nephews have been visiting. Aaron is 17, just finished high school, and came out from Sunday the 6th until Sunday the 13th. What a strange experience. I hadn't seen Aaron since 2004 and that's a long time when you are growing up. And the last time I saw him, he was a 13 year old who knew everything, including that I had nothing to say that he wanted to hear. But I can dig that. Been there. Now he's 17 and interested again. I gave him a picture of something else. It was odd to watch him and see the five year old that he once was. So oddly similar. He was too smart. Always told you things that seemed to have the message that he was really smart and a deep thinker. From the moment he could talk.
I enjoyed seeing him again and was proud to have him in my family, proud to share my life with him. No matter what he thinks about me at this stage of his life, I think that he will think fondly of me in the future. And that's enough. Funny, oh me.
I am going to totally break my train of thought now to say a big sigh. Good sigh. I love me sigh. I'm doing something right sigh. Holy shit, I am freaking scared shitless... how cool is that sigh. Stop swearing sigh. lol
Anyway, Aaron got here on Sunday and that was Brandon's 16th birthday. We had two full and two half days alone together. Monday we went to Playland and I was amazed at Aaron's determination to conquer his fear of heights and go on every roller coaster there. He started slow but we gradually got to the Hellevator which goes up 200 feet at 75 miles/hour. Afraid of heights? Wow! He said he blacked out going up but I think he just blew his mind! We chilled out Tuesday... went to the gym together and walked around a bit, cooked supper, Aaron made strawberry tarts and then we had a few beers and got stoned! Don't tell my sister, for shit's sake! (Oops! Trying to stop swearing and get a little bit of feminine shit on the go here! lol) I mean, for heaven's sake! I had fun. We chatted. I feel that we bonded. I was impressed with his maturity and sense of future. I think he will do fine.
I jokingly told Brandon that me scheduling Aaron to leave on his birthday so he could be alone with his mother on his birthday and get more attention. And Brandon thanked me for it. Brandon followed his brother on Wednesday. I scheduled their trips together like that intentionally. For one thing, although I really wanted to spend a couple of days alone with Aaron to get to know him, I was a little bit nervous of what to do with him otherwise. I figured he would probably be bored out of his mind with me so I brought Brandon out a few days in. I knew Brandon would be jealous of having to share me with Aaron at first but he was coming for a month so I would easily make it up to him.
How odd to watch the dynamic of my sister's two sons interacting. They spent plenty of time together but always with Aaron being totally supportive of his younger brother and Brandon speaking to Aaron with contention and irritation. And Brandon kept telling his mother things about Aaron's bad attitude that weren't apparent to anyone but Brandon. If I was talking to Aaron, Brandon was pushing him out of the way. Oh, I saw myself. How amazing. What an insight. To see someone so much like me, the way I used to be and still the way I am ins some ways. With a hefty dash of my sister in him that I really didn't recognize before.
Brandon's whole demeanor changed the moment Aaron walked out of sight into security at the airport. It was total a 180... perk. When he first arrived he was irritating. He pushed and spoke over everyone and was bitter and jealous; after Aaron left he was Brandon again. Brandon is my kind of people. Yes, I love Aaron and I enjoyed spending time with him but Brandon is so much like me and so in need of guidance. All of those times that I have said "why did no one tell me?" about the false crap - ahem, stuff - that I went through as a teenager/young adult will be my gift to Brandon. I know, you would think that he would be rolling his eyes and telling me where to go but he's not... he wants to know this stuff... he needs to know this stuff... and he seems to recognize that fact... even about the stuff that he really doesn't understand yet. God love him. He is one special fella.
