We went cross-country skiing on Saturday... soooo much fun. I think it probably ended my relationship with Ian but it will be sadly worth it! He's been getting on my nerves again, anyway. Last time I blamed all of our problems on me and my behavior and it think it was very beneficial to revisit the whole situation to see it from a different angle but, I was right... he is a child. Of course, there is a part of me questioning everything still... it's an ongoing battle, this getting my shit figured out stuff... am I looking for things wrong so that I can ease the hurt if he doesn't want to see me anymore? That's a very good question and I'm sure that it could be viewed that way, however, things have not exactly been amazing between us for a bit. Old habits creap back in, I guess. He changed. I might have changed but he changed, too. And I'm okay with that. If it's over, I will live with it; if it's not over, it probably will be soon and I will live with it.
I have changed soo much inside my head over the past couple of months it's amazing. The ever-lasting internal struggle is gone, I am finally free.
