Well, that was a long, drawn out entry. Let's see if I can expand on it a bit...

Our Fabian came over for dinner the other night. Ohmygad! I thought I would pass out with all of those orgasms. Sweet! He didn't come though. Interesting. The real interesting part is that I don't feel bad about it. Before I would be thinking he didn't like me or didn't enjoy himself. Well, silly girl - he was there so he must like you and he was rock hard and smiling so he must have had an okay time! And now the waiting begins. Waiting to see what is the next step. Initially, I thought under no circumstance would I contact him first. He has to chase me (that's a strong word but I can't think of another) for this to work. Then I was thinking that, after all, I'm the one really trying to make amends here. I am the one trying to regain his trust. I won't become a mad woman or anything but I do feel that I will need to take a few extra steps. And most of all, the answer is time. Time to heal, time to get to know each other again, time to rebuild (or start to build for the first time) trust. I don't know where this will go but I love him. I really do. I need to learn to communicate and consider his perspective but bottom line is I love him. So I'll wait. At the same time, - Oh, I'll get into that another day...