Okay, I guess that was a load of crap then. The no more highs. I think they still lurk.
So, I quit my job. Yes, I did. It was actually kind of interesting to read my last post because I totally forgot about what it said. I was right to a degree about the no more absolute yeses or nos - but I still have to feel right with it to make a firm decision. This one was hard because there are no absolutes, because I both love and hate my job (it felt like breaking up with Ian again!) but, when I stopped to think about it, I understood that I at least have to know what it's like somewhere else. And when I asked myself if I had done everything in my power to fix what was wrong and to find a way to stay and answered no, I had not... and I felt perfectly okay with that.
It's time to jump again. Obviously my instincts are telling me something - the anarchy... can't take the absolute constant anarchy of the place! - and I follow those instincts now, right? Actually, the thing that made up my mind for me was when I realized that I lost that happiness and questioned whether it was even real. It has to be. I will not live my life complaining all the time, being pissed off and exhausted, avoiding social situations and destroying my health. This was a nice lesson... back one step, forward two... that is called learning. I like learning.
Now, let's see what happens!!!
