It's so sad. So embarrassing, really. How is it, after all of this time, that I still consider him a viable option? In the three and a half years that I have known him it's been game after game after game. But I don't want to play anymore. I want to let go and move on. Why can't I let go? I jumped off the bridge, I quit smoking. I can convince myself of anything. And it's time to start working on de-faberizing once and for all. Sadly, I'm so brave until he gives me a snippet of attention and fans the eternal flame of home. Mutherfucker.